18 Weeks

Eighteen weeks in and I finally popped my pregnancy puking cherry.  Oh wow, heartburn is a bitch.   I can't really complain because I've had a fairly easy pregnancy so far and got to do a crapload of vacationing over the past three weeks. In fact, between December 22nd and yesterday, I had only been to work three times.  But woah, stomach bile does not feel good on the way up and out.

We had such a great time on our cruise.  I'm planning on writing a full trip report in a later post but for now I am back and (hopefully) won't be missing any more work until Gizmo is here so it's Buckle Down Baby time.  I had to work until 9 pm tonight and expect to have at least one late night a week from here until June.  Four hours of comp time equals four more hours I get to spend off with Gizmo so I'm actually looking forward to the late nights. Sometimes it's fun and we get to play Yahtzee but mostly I am super productive when most people have left the office.

My belly has gotten SO big this week.  The dress I bought at Target months ago finally fits.  Check it out.  Please ignore the huge pile of mail visible in this picture.  It all adds up over a long vacation!

How Far Along: 18 weeks
Size of baby: Baby is the size of an sweet potato.
Total Weight Gain/Loss:  Still under IVF weight.  I may even be back under my pre-IVF weight too but the scale has said two different things over the past two days so the jury is still out.
Workouts: Nada.
Maternity Clothes: Packing for my trip I found out that, sadly, none of my non-maternity t-shirts fit anymore,  including the super comfortable ones I had just bought a few months back and have been wearing almost exclusively since.  I can still wear a few normal tank tops but it's time to start shopping.
Gender: We will find out February 1st! 3rd because we're doing a cheesy gender reveal cake with our families.  Hate away, I'm excited!

Movement: I think so?  Nothing really certain yet.  Every time I think it happens there's nothing for days after to confirm my feeling.

Sleep: Good!  I was amazed I was able to sleep like a baby on my cruise.

What I miss: Dancing at concerts.  Or just standing up so I can see the band.  Still can't stand for more than ten minutes.

Cravings: Tomato juice but DH says I can't have anymore because of the heartburn.

Symptoms: Standing up ---> cramps; heartburn has started and is the worst thing ever.  I also can't shake this cold I've had all week.
Anxiety Level: I swore I was having a panic attack last night but it turned out I just had to puke bile.  I'm weaning off the Zoloft now so I'm nervous about it but so far, so good.

Best Moment this week: Turning 33 on the high seas!

Reading: Finished 11/22/63 and loved it.  Now I'm reading A Discovery of Witches.

Dad is: Asleep by 11 pm tonight.  Someone must have worked hard catching up today.  He also brought me dinner and heartburn relief to work tonight.

 

So...weaning off Zoloft.  I was going to wait until I met with my therapist this Friday to figure out if I even wanted to give this a shot but then I forgot to take it for the last couple days of vacation and so I am just not taking it anymore.  Last time I tried to do this I didn't last two weeks before deciding I needed to go back on.  I have no idea what to expect.  I'm in a much better place emotionally than I was at my last weaning attempt but I'm still not convinced that I don't have a fundamental brain chemistry imbalance that requires lifelong management.  Here's hoping I'm wrong.

 

I still feel a little unattached to the pregnancy.  Sometimes it doesn't feel like it's really happening.  I'm hoping to get some regular kicks soon to make me feel more connected.   I am also looking forward to finding out the sex.  Only nineteen more days!