A Rainy Day With Benjamin

When I was pregnant I desperately searched baby blogs for detailed accounts of what mothers did with their new babies all day.  I had major anxiety over the idea of staying cooped up in the apartment all day and thought if I was armed with an arsenal of "activities" I wouldn't go crazy.  I can't tell you how many times I googled "maternity leave activities."  LOL.  I still remember telling my husband how much I wanted to take B to a working dairy farm.  Because maybe he needed to learn agribusiness?  I'm not sure exactly.

Even though we have yet to spend a day like I envisioned sprawled out on a picnic blanket or hiking a natural trail, I still try to give B a fair share of "activities" each day. And since there may be other anxious mothers to be out there wondering just how the heck the day is going to go, I decided to chronicle a "typical" day.  Not everyday has been like this but a lot of them have been close.  I didn't write down exact times as they were happening but here's basically how the last twelve hours have unfolded.

8:30 a.m. - H gets up to get ready for work and B is stirring.  I silently curse H for not picking up B because I just got back to bed from a feed/pump session less than ninety minutes ago.  Decide that B doesn't really want to wake up so I turn on the Sleep Giraffe and rock his Rock N Play until my wrist feels like it will fall off.  It works.  He sleeps for 40 more minutes.

9:10 - B is awake. Change shirt and diaper.  Feed while laying in bed watching The Today Show.  Chat, smile, laugh.

10:30 - B is getting overtired.  Check forecast and see there's a 100% chance of rain.  Boo.  Decide I don't care and throw B in his stroller with the rain cover and set out for a walk. Head to a bagel shop six blocks away.  B is asleep by the second block.  Kid loves going for walks.

10:45 - Order a delicious bagel with cream cheese and lox and a 20 ounce coffee.  It had been a crappy long night.  Eat the shit out of it.  Play with iphone.

11:30 - B is waking up.  Head home.  Feed.  Pump while he sits on my lap or on the Boppy pillow next to me.  Change diaper.  Chat, smile, laugh.

1:00 - B falls asleep on my chest and proceeds to take little cat naps for the next hour or so while I watch Netflix.

2:00 - Put B in his swing for 5 minutes while I do dishes and H makes us lunch.  He is not having it.  Pick him up and hold him.  Pump again.

3:00 - B is overtired again.  Throw him back in the stroller.  Walk to the big park across the street.  By the time I get to the lake, he is asleep.  Because his afternoon nap is usually harder to sustain I walk for thirty more minutes just to ensure he stays asleep.  Great calorie burner!  Sit on a bench for another thirty minutes and read my Kindle.

4:00 - B is starting to wake up.  Head home.  Change diaper.  Eat. Place B on his activity mat for 10 minutes while I do more dishes.  H leaves to go out, which means I'll handle the nighttime swaddle and put down which I've only done a handful of times by myself at this point.

5:00 - Call my Mother In Law while bouncing B on my lap for thirty minutes.  By the time the phone call is over he is a cranky mess.  Attempt to put him in swing.  Fail.  He cries on and off ten seconds at a time, a sure sign he has earned a One Way Ticket to Swaddle Town.  Try as I may, I cannot beat his early bedtime tendencies.

5:40 - Swaddle B and put him in his Rock N Play.  Sing Christmas carols until he falls asleep.  Take a nap.

7:00 - B starts crying in his sleep.  Rock him a little until he stops.  Go back in the living room to have a glass of wine and pump.

8:00 - Make dinner.  Check on B.  Write blog post.

For the past six weeks he will sleep for six hours after his initial nighttime swaddle but lately he starts to fall apart earlier and earlier in the night.  I've tried various techniques to move the six hour stretch to later in the night but without success.  So I will pump again at 10 and then head to bed.  B will likely wake up at midnight, 3, 5 and 7.  LOL.  So that was our day!

B is 11 weeks old and has never seen a working dairy farm.

Benjamin - Two Months Old

Benjamin's second month was even more exciting than his first. He is waking up and is much more alert and active than last month. We have been taking him with us pretty much everywhere because this kid loves to be on the move.  It is more challenging but I feel like the challenges accelerate at the same pace as the rewards so it's easier to manage.

The most important thing this month is that Benjamin learned how to smile!  He now smiles and coos frequently.  Sometimes it sounds like he is trying to talk.  For some strange reason he likes to coo and smile and strangers more than his poor mother but oh well, he's a baby.

Benjamin has also discovered his hands. He is content, at times, to just sit and look at them flapping in the air.  Then he coos and I imagine he is saying "did you know I had hands?!"

Weight and other stats: As of last week (eight weeks exactly) Benjamin weighed ten pounds, seven ounces. He is still in the thirteenth percentile so he's staying on his curve from last month which is a relief. He is twenty two inches tall.  This lands him in the fifteenth percentile.  His head circumference is thirty nine and a half centimeters (sixty eighth percentile).  It is sort of crazy that his next regular doctor's appointment isn't until he is four months old.  They really trust us with him for two more months?  Okay then!

Size: I swear he grows overnight.  We moved up to the Size One Pampers Swaddlers and now I'm not sure I like them as much.  B's hips are a little wide for them.  But seeing as my coupon clipper husband bought us a thousand of them, I will see how it goes for the next few weeks. In clothes he's still fits in Newborn the best.

Eating: Benjamin loves to eat.  He still drinks about 24 ounces a day, but I stopped keeping track of every single ounce lately and just feed him when he's hungry.  Our lactation consultant sort of made fun of me and said to stop tracking it.  I resisted and kept at it for a while but when we were out of town this week and other people were feeding him I just gave up.  I do know that he is still drinking mostly breast milk (about 16 ounces a day that I'm able to pump) and for that I am grateful. He recently had a procedure to correct a lip tie and a tongue tie so we are still hopeful that he will be able to feed directly from the breast but we are taking it one day at a time.

Sleeping: He sleeps ::whispers:: a good six hour stretch almost every night and has since he was five weeks old.  Sometimes seven and once he slept eight and a half hours.  Of course there are the (thankfully rare) nights that he only sleeps four hours in the longest stretch but those are almost always attributed to a bad swaddle or dirty diaper.  From reading other new mom experiences I know that we are insanely lucky to have a good sleeper.  The daytime sleep is less predictable.  We can usually get a good three hour nap in the early afternoon but sometimes I have to work for it and take him on a really long walk.  He seems asleep but then his eyes pop open as soon as I stop walking.  At least I'm burning calories!

Likes: Warm bottles (we started warming them up after someone gave us a bottle warmer and it's helped a lot with his craziness at feeding time). The stroller and going on walks where he can look at the trees and their shadows.  Taking a bath with me (no screams!).

Dislikes: Being changed.  Waiting for a bottle.  Gas. The Ergo (sigh, we'll keep trying).

I am enjoying my maternity leave and can't believe it's half over already.  My husband just got offered a new job (woot woot) so we've had an awesome month in many ways.

First Month Baby Products I Loved

I always thought posts about must have baby products were very helpful so I figured I would share some of my own experience with baby products here.  When I was pregnant, looking up baby stuff was SO overwhelming.  I told my husband it was like preparing to send an alien to summer camp, but really, you work with what you have and hopefully won't have to run out to the store too many times.

I'm going to do one post for baby supplies, one post for baby clothing/bedding, and one post for Mom and Dad stuff.  Stay tuned!

For our first month with Benjamin, I am grateful we had the following gear for the baby:

Benjamin at one week old

1. The Wubbanub - Our hospital is "breastfeeding friendly" and thus does not provide pacifiers to newborns.  Knowing this in advance and having a general knowledge of a baby's need to suck, I planned on packing some pacifiers in the diaper bag.  Then I went into labor before I packed the diaper bag.  My husband ran home the first night to grab some stuff and I told him to find a pacifier.  I had several regular Soothies and MAMs ready to go but he couldn't find them and grabbed the Wubbanub we had received as a gift.  And thus a love affair began.

Anytime we took Benjamin out in the car seat we made sure to have his pal the monkey with us in case he started to fuss.  He didn't really want it any other time but I think the monkey helped calm him when he's strapped into his seat.  As time went on we discovered that sucking on the Wubbanub also helped him fall asleep.  I'm sure a regular Soothie would work too, but the Wubbanub adds weight in the form of a stuffed animal to the pacifier so it doesn't fall out as easily.  Usually he falls asleep and spits it out so I go and move it down by his legs.

Benjamin at one month old

On the fourth of July we went to see the fireworks and lost the monkey and I was inconsolable.  My husband ran out to the store to replace it, only to find that there were no monkeys at the store.  Enter our new friend, the kitty.  I still missed the monkey, however, so I bought one off Amazon.  So new mom trick is to make sure you have two of everything you are attached to.  Not that your baby knows the difference between a monkey and a kitty because he's a baby, but it's amazing how sentimental you get about these things.  Monkey came back from vacation via our friend Amazon Prime free shipping.  Benjamin has started to hold onto it and it's too cute.  I die.

Apparently the pacifier is only designed for babies up to six months and I'm sad in advance of that day coming.  And, yes, my baby is improperly secured in his car seat in the picture to the left but we didn't go anywhere in the car that day so nobody panic.

PSA; Remove blankets after snapping photo

2. The Rock and Play -  I had heard a lot about the Rock and Play while I was pregnant. Some people swear by it.  Then there was a recall and people freaked out!  Then others resisted it because they said babies need to get used to not sleeping on an incline.  I thought I was in the last camp but put a Rock and Play on my registry just because.  And, we love it like woah.  Benjamin can sleep anywhere.  We are lucky that he can fall asleep in his swing, bassinet, car seat, etc. but we get the longest and best stretch of sleep when he is in his Rock and Play. It is also very easily portable so in the early days when we had to be in the same room as him all the time we could just carry it wherever we went.  We've also brought it when we've stayed with family because it's easy to take apart and throw in the car.  My sister's monster baby slept in his for 5 months so I'm hoping to get until month 6 with the Rock and Play being our primary sleeping device (we don't own a crib at the moment).

3. The Sleep Giraffe - Similar to the Sleep Sheep, a baby product that also has mixed reviews, we love our Sleep Giraffe.  This morning, in fact, turning on the Sleep Giraffe lulled Benjamin back to sleep when he was thinking about waking up and I got an additional half hour of sleep out of him.  Priceless.  We're also hoping to use it in our monthly photos to compare its size with Benjamin's size since it fits our jungle theme.

4. Wipe Warmer - I know, I know.  I thought wipes warmers were dumb until I had a baby who screamed whenever a cold wet wipe touched his butt.  It was so night and day after we got this warmer as a gift that we went out and bought a second one for our other changing area.

5. Vinyl changing pad - I spent a long amount of time selecting the cutest cover to go with my regular changing pad...and then I had a baby who made a bowel movement during every diaper change.  We went through a packet of the disposable changing pad covers every other day until my husband went out and bought this vinyl pad instead.  Now the bowel movements have eased up but we don't dare change a poopy diaper on a fabric changing pad anymore.  Ain't nobody got time to do all that laundry.  The vinyl you can just wash off!  Genius. 

The toy bar sort of sucks just FYI but maybe when he's older he'll be more interested in it.

Everything else (minus the car seat) I could have probably lived without our first month home.

Benjamin - One Month Old

Amazingly, Benjamin turned one month old yesterday.  Ever since DH told me that he looked up where Benjamin fit in the infant growth chart I had been anxiously awaiting his one month appointment.  I know he came a little early and is eating a lot and having the appropriate number of diapers but, oh man, how I feared that scale.  Call it new parent anxiety but I felt so guilty thinking that ninety six percent of babies were bigger than my Benjamin.  Every time he ate I would think, grow, baby, grow!

So now the results are in!

(Someone was a little too tired for this photo.)

Weight and other stats: Eight pounds, eight ounces!!!  Up from six pounds, four ounces at birth and six pounds, eleven ounces at around two weeks.  He is now in the thirteenth percentile.  DH and I were so excited.  He is twenty one and one quarter inches tall, up from seventeen at birth.  This lands him in the thirty third percentile.  His head circumference is thirty seven point six centimeters (fifty eighth percentile). 

Size: Up until a week ago the clothes that fit him best were a pack of Preemie onesies.  Now he's solidly in Newborn sizes.  Newborn Pampers Swaddlers are our diaper of choice but we may switch to Size One soon. 

Eating: Benjamin is now being bottle fed exclusively.  I'm not ready to write about how we got here but I know it's the right decision for our family.  I am pumping to ensure he gets breast milk and he is currently eating around twenty five ounces a day, eighteen of which are breast milk.  This works out to be an average of ten bottles, but only about seven feedings.  This is because every now and then we'll prep a three ounce bottle and Benjamin will want more so we give him a second smaller bottle.  Usually we can expect him to eat 3.5 ounces in one sitting but he's been known to suck down six ounces every now and again.

Sleeping: I've seen so many other moms refer to their baby's "naps" which confuses me because, if Benjamin is not eating, he is sleeping, save for two wakeful periods a day.  So I guess he has four "naps" a day and then wakes up twice at night?  But when does the day start?  Anyway the kid sleeps.  He sleeps on a Jeep.  He sleeps with a sheep.  At around two weeks we started using the swing intermittently for "naps" and he loves it.  He also sleeps in his bassinet, Rock and Play, car seat or wherever we happen to put him down.  I would say he sleeps for about sixteen hours a day. 

Likes: Eating and sleeping?  Cuddling.  His monkey Wubbanub (but only in the car seat). 

Dislikes: Being changed.  Waiting for a bottle.  Being cold. 

We have a pretty great baby.  Since my last entry we've had two more road trips.  One for my sister in law's memorial about two and a half hours away.  We only had to stop for a quick diaper change.  The second was to visit my parents (also two and a half hours away) who watched him while DH and I went out on the town.  He slept the whole way there and back!

It's been an amazing month!

Our Due Date Is Here

I never thought I'd have a twenty day old baby on June 17th, yet, as much as I said over and over again how I was prepared to be pregnant past my due date, I much prefer having Benjamin safely here at home with us instead.  We went out to lunch yesterday for DH's birthday and Father's Day and I ran into a friend who is due on Friday.  Just looking at her made me cringe a bit.  Wow, she is really pregnant!  I'm so thankful that I'm not!

Now that I've put that out in the universe, I bet my second kid will be two weeks late.  Oh well.  That's not happening for a while, but I can totally understand the newborn envy mothers of older children experience.  I always said that babies were just a gateway to my preferred stage of development, namely kindergartners.  And sure, I'm still looking forward to that age.  But newborns are SO perfect.  They are so small and dependent and every time they open their eyes it's a gift.  Benjamin gets older every day and it's so cool (but hard!) to watch.  You really wish you could freeze time.

We've had a great twenty days.  Everyone always remarks how we've taken Benjamin "everywhere!" but really we've just been to a few local places, including a street fair last Saturday and the annual Gay Pride Festival in the park across from our condo last Sunday.  Apparently this makes me a rebel in the eyes of my family.  We've also been to Walmart, the doctor's office and three restaurants within walking distance of home.  All were a wild success!  Benjamin sleeps in the car seat anytime we take him out somewhere.  He even manages to stay roughly on his eating schedule.  We are pretty lucky.

This past Saturday was our first family road trip.  I was nervous about taking him in the car lest he woke up and we had to pull over to comfort him but, amazingly, he slept the entire 90 minute ride both ways!  We went to my aunt's house and Benjamin got to meet my entire extended family.

Tomorrow we may take a walk down to a park outside my office and have lunch with a coworker who wants to meet Benjamin.  And Thursday I was thinking of taking him to a Mommy and Baby group at the place where we took birth classes. Hopefully the weather will cooperate.

In career news, I had my two job interviews last week and I think they went well.  I'm being considered for three different positions.  I'd greatly prefer one of them over the others but if I'm offered any I will likely accept.  Fingers crossed.

Thursday we were at the doctor's office because Benjamin had the sniffles and found out he weighed 6 pounds, 11 ounces.  That's a gain of seven ounces in a week!  He's still only in the 5th to 10th percentile but I'm happy he's gaining steadily.  I've been getting more and more milk from my breast pump so he is now getting mostly breast milk in his bottles.  Yesterday, for example, I expressed fourteen ounces and he consumed twenty four ounces - his second most hungry day yet!

Physically, I'm feeling good.  Bleeding had tapered off but then came back yesterday.  I'm experiencing some nighttime anxiety still, which sucks, but Benjamin has been sleeping good stretches at night.  Last night I slept from 12-3 and then took over from DH.  Benjamin woke up again around 3:40 and 6:20.  In between I sleep on the couch or play on my computer depending on how tired I am.  Then, when H gets up for work at 8 or 9 I go back into the bedroom and watch the Today Show or sleep. Or pump.  Pumping is easier now that my Medela Freestyle has arrived.  It's just as efficient as the hospital pump I rented but much smaller so you can (theoretically) walk around while you're pumping.  My only complaint so far is how loud it is!

Not 39 Weeks - Postpartum Check In

Today at 9 o'clock I got a text from Baby Center that said "you are 39 weeks pregnant."  Sigh.  Its still unbelievable to me that, not only is Benjamin here, he has been with us for the past fourteen days.  I never got to worry about not going into labor before my (evil) doctor pushed an induction.  I never got to take last pictures of a ridiculously pregnant belly.  I never got to go into work days from my due date and make everyone worry I was going to have the baby under my desk.  I never got my farewell maternity leave cake!

Obviously I wouldn't change a thing and I'm glad Benjamin is here and healthy.  Just, wow, how did this happen?

There's so much I want to write about.  My birth story (nearly done).  Our postpartum hospital stay.  All things Benjamin, etc.  But for now, since it's easier and on my mind, I want to write about my postpartum recovery.

Weight: This has been a pretty awesome side effect of giving birth. Despite not really gaining weight during my pregnancy, I lost over twenty five pounds within days of having Benjamin.  I'm now about twenty two pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight.  And people I've seen or who have seen pictures of me on Facebook have not been shy about pointing it out. I'm really hoping I can maintain this weight until at least my six weeks postpartum appointment and then start working on dieting and working out to lose a little more.  Once upon a time (i.e. seven years ago) I was a healthy weight and I'd love to get back in that range.

Mental Health: Good.  Also better than expected.  I am still trying to reconcile the tragedy of my sister in law's death with the joy of the birth of my son and frankly I'm not sure I'll ever be "over it" exactly but I just try to enjoy each day and be thankful. I had Benjamin's placenta made into capsules and I really think taking them has helped my moods stabilize.  I'm basing this on the very thin anecdotal evidence of the one day I forgot to take my capsule my moods were a little more out of control.  I always said even if placenta encapsulation has absolutely no medical value, for $150, it was a risk I was willing to take and I'm glad we did it.

Just like the anxiety I experienced during pregnancy, I feel most anxious at night, particularly when my husband and I start sleeping in shifts.  I am grateful that I have been getting a decent amount of sleep but it's just not the same when you are used to going to sleep whenever you want and sleeping as long as you want.

I was able to attend my regular Friday therapy session at only ten days postpartum.  It was important to me to keep the appointment because I'll be leaving Benjamin with my husband to go on my job interviews this week.  More on that below.

Physical Health: I'm taking iron pills right now because I'm slightly anemic, and they are awful.  But I stopped taking pain killers day ago.  I don't have any vaginal pain.  I'm still bleeding and it gets heavier depending on my level of activity.  I assume my stitches have healed since I haven't felt them.  I get tired from standing long periods of time but that may be due to the whole reduced sleep factor.

Co-parenting: Going well.  We are mostly bottle feeding so it has allowed us to give each other breaks, which is nice.  DH sleeps a solid block of five hours at night in a row, while I take usually two shifts of three hours.  During the day it's much easier since we are both rested.  H did a little work starting the second day back from the hospital so that he wouldn't be too far behind and didn't have to charge his vacation time.  Starting today he is "back" on a part time basis for the week, but it's nice that he's still physically here since he works from home.

Maternity Leave Thoughts: I was enjoying watching The Today Show for a while but it's ironically very repetitive.  It's weird not being at work on a Monday.  It's weirder still thinking I may never return to my current job.  I have a certain level of guilt about that for some reason (then again I feel guilty a lot lately!).  In addition to the long awaited job interview that Benjamin's birth threw a kink in, I just got a call today from another agency and I'll be interviewing with them on Friday.  I don't want to count my chickens but if I were a better man, I would wager that some agency will snap me up by the time my maternity leave is up.  If I get a new job before DH (who has been interviewing for months) I will just laugh.  Wish me luck.

Benjamin is Here!

In my last entry, I wrote that I wanted to stay pregnant for at least two more weeks.  As a result I went and had a baby the very next day.  I didn't get to go on my job interview or ditch my OB's office.  I DID, however, get to deliver the world's best baby into the world on Tuesday, May 28th at 2:11 p.m. after a fast and furious labor.  Benjamin Eli couldn't wait to meet us.

We love him so much.

More (and more!) to come.

And my job interview has been rescheduled. :-)