13 weeks

This week sucks, boo.

I mean, thirteen weeks is sort of a milestone.  But with our NT scan and our announcement last week I've felt like I've been in second trimester all week...even though mathematically it begins in three more days. I'm a third of the way til 39 weeks and a lot of babies come at 39 weeks, right?  Anyway by next week's check in there will be no doubt about it.  First trimester will be OVER.  The way things are going it's looking like I will be one of the lucky ten percent of women who got NO MORNING SICKNESS at all during their first trimester.

Statistics are funny though.  I also happen to be in the unlucky ONE PERCENT of women who get diagnosed with a subchorionic hematoma.  Last Friday at the NT scan they told me I was on pelvic rest and I took that direction very seriously.  This past Friday I had a routine pap smear and pelvic exam and inquired about when I could resume normal activity.  I'll save you the TMI but she said I was free to "have fun" as long as it wasn't, you know, all the way. Long story short: I did.  I bled.  I'm now on full pelvic rest until 20 weeks.

I know it seems like a stupid thing to be bummed about.  I have the rest of my natural life to "have fun" and only 26 more weeks of baking a baby. But I'm bummed nonetheless.  Seven weeks is a long time! And tonight I went to a party and starting cramping from standing up.  At this point I'm afraid of even further restrictions.  My doctor originally told me she would take me out of work if the bleeding worsened.  I thought the second trimester meant less worry?

How Far Along: 13 weeks
Size of baby: Baby is the size of a peach
Total Weight Gain/Loss: Still no weight gain (down 11 pounds since retrieval)
Workouts: Not happening right now unfortunately - I get crampy just standing

Maternity Clothes: Just my lovely Old Navy maternity tank underneath things

Gender: We will find out February 1st!

Movement: Not yet

Sleep: Eh

What I miss: Not being on pelvic rest

Cravings: Not hungry

Symptoms: Spotting and cramping
Anxiety Level: Surprisingly not anxious - more pissed really

Best Moment this week: The Giants won!

Reading: Back to non pregnancy reads - currently Dies the Fire (it's awful but I love the genre)

Dad is: Reading pregnancy books and telling me not to eat kielbasa from the new polish deli, WTH?

 

At my appointment my NP also felt up my boobs and asked me if they've grown.  They haven't.  She proceeds to tell me that in her experience women who don't experience first trimester breast growth are not able to exclusively breast feed.  I've read a TON about pregnancy and I've never heard of that ever.  My internet friends tell me she's off her rocker.  As if I need more bad news this week.

 

Stay tuned for next week's installment of As The Pelvis Rests.  Hopefully week 14 will be happier.

12 Weeks

First the good news: I had my NT scan on Friday and everything looks good!  Nuchal fold was 1 point something which is within normal range and the nasal bone was present.  And I assume everything else they check for looked good too.

Second, we announced on Facebook tonight!  I had thought about waiting until Christmas Eve (16 weeks) but H said since our NT scan looked good and "most of the important people" knew anyway we should just go ahead and spill the beans.  Here is our announcement.  It is so cute it almost makes up for month and months (and months) of BFNs to be lucky enough to have a Christmas themed announcement.

Also, I told my boss today. That part was funny because of the weird situation that has been brewing at work lately.  So, in a nutshell: we are an office of 14 attorneys.  This is basically the bare minimum we can have to function during our busy season which is starting right now.  Yet, partly because they won't give us any more money and partly due to life circumstances, three attorneys have quit within the past few weeks and one has left on maternity leave. We usually have very little turnover which is good because it takes at least a year to figure out our weird niche area.  Rumor has it that at least three other attorneys want to exit soon.  If we lose another person we are SCREWED. I barely ever have face to face sit downs with my boss so when I closed the door to his office he looked legitimately scared.  Thankfully once he realized I was just pregnant - not quitting - he calmed down.

I also told another coworker, bringing the grand total to two people at the office I've told.  I really don't want to personally tell anyone else because who wants to talk about bodily functions for seven months with people you barely know?  Hopefully now that it's on Facebook the news will just spread.

Now, the less great news: I have what's known as a subchorionic hematoma.  After the bleeding last week where I decided not to panic, I had some more bleeding.  I, again, told myself it was nothing.  Except the next day it was still there and that night it got worse and my cramps were awful.  I woke up at 4 in the morning in  panic.  H was on a red eye flight and I knew he'd have Internet so I emailed him about it and tried to get back to sleep.  He called me panicked at 6 a.m.  I waited until the doctor's office opened at 8 and called.  The nurse reassured me that I was so close to the promise land of second trimester and since the bleeding wasn't filling a pad, it was probably nothing.

I got an emergency appointment for an ultrasound and by that time H is back in town and able to come with me.  I'm so glad he did because they decided to do my NT scan a week earlier than planned.  And Gizmo looks awesome.  He or she was jumping all around.  The bleed should hopefully resolve itself by 20 weeks at my anatomy scan.  Until then I'm on pelvic rest and ordered to take it easy.  No bleeding since Saturday thankfully.

How Far Along: 12 weeks
Size of baby: Baby is the size of a plum
Total Weight Gain/Loss: Still down at least 10 pounds from retrieval day (sometimes more)amazingly

Workouts: Ha, now I'm supposed to rest all the time so built in lazy person excuse

Maternity Clothes: Sort of.  I got ultrasound lube all up on my regular jeans Friday so Saturday I busted out my new maternity jeans and they are awesome but they keep falling down.  I swear I got a bump overnight on Saturday so I excitedly went out to Target and got a dress and a sweater but H says they both looked silly on me.  I'm wearing the sweater in this pic and I admit it is sort of baggy.  Oh well.

Gender: Who knows

Movement: Not yet

Sleep: Great although I've been able to stay up to a reasonable time now so that's an improvement

What I miss: Still wine

Cravings: I had McDonalds today because I loved how the pickle tastes covered in ketchup

Symptoms: Spotting for three days that has hopefully stopped
Anxiety Level: I was very nervous during the bleeding but mostly calm since then

Best Moment this week: My awesome Facebook announcement

Reading: Still on Bringing Up Bebe

Dad is: Counting down the days until our cruise!

 

I thought I would get the results of our blood test that accompanies the NT scan today but I just learned that it's actually a two part test and the next part isn't until 16 weeks.  So while we're not of the genetic woods yet, I'm feeling pretty confident.

 

Twelve weeks isn't "officially" second trimester, but it sure feels great to be here.

11 Weeks

Oh man.  I don't think I've seen a side profile shot of myself since my wedding pictures and those shots were quickly deleted, but in the interest of "preserving memories" here is my 11 week shot.  There's no belly yet and, believe it or not, my boobs have always been that big.  Sigh.  When I'm done with kids I'm gonna get them chopped off.  But enough self-loathing.

I'm 11 weeks!  11 weeks isn't as big of a milestone as 10 weeks but it's awfully close to 12 weeks - which some consider the start of the second trimester so it's pretty friggen awesome.

How Far Along: 11 weeks, 1 days (picture taken at 11 weeks)
Size of baby: Baby is the size of a lime

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Still down 9-10 pounds from retrieval day amazingly

Workouts: Traveled most of this week for Thanksgiving and still getting over cold so no

Maternity Clothes: Not yet

Gender: Who knows

Movement: Not yet

Sleep: Yes although a little random insomnia thrown in

What I miss: Wine!  Thanksgiving with family was tough stone cold sober

Cravings: None

Symptoms: Constipation (probably my fault because I ran out of Colace) and cramping/spotting
Anxiety Level: A little elevated at night when I woke up and realized I was all alone

Best Moment this week: Telling H's family the news on Thanksgiving

Reading: Just started Bringing Up Bebe and it's really good

Dad is: In Vegas - lucky duck

This week is the first week in November that I don't have a day off and H is unexpectedly out of town all week so I'm catching up on some "me" time, namely eating microwaved food and watching Teen Mom 2 on Netflix.  I'm nearly done fighting the Cold of Death.  Work is getting busier.

 

Pregnancy is going well.  I woke up yesterday to some blood tinged CM which was scary.  It was followed by some killer cramps that had me panicked and Dr. Googling.  I was annoyed that after being so Zen Calm about pregnancy so far I had reason to freak all of a sudden.  I decided against calling the doctor because I didn't want to be "that patient."  One of the things Dr. Google suggested was dehydration and even though I usually drink A TON of water at work I drank some more and eventually the cramps subsided.  Today all is okay.

 

Thanksgiving we gathered twenty of my husbands family and friends in my inlaw's living room and told them the news about our pregnancy.  I cried my eyes out, which is weird because I already knew the news.  LOL

 

Yesterday was another milestone of sorts.  I saw an old colleague I used to be close with on the street and randomly told her I was pregnant.  I'm not sure what came over me.  She proceeded to tell me all about her many miscarriages and how she hemorrhaged throughout her entire pregnancy with her son and had to be hospitalized for much of the pregnancy.  Yikes!

 

10 Weeks

Oh wow, I've committed a huge belly shot faux paus.  I wore the same dress this week as I did in my four week photo, but, oh well, I only have so many dresses.  As you can see, I look pretty much the same.  I don't know what I'm going to do as I actually develop a bump.  I'm not sure that the lighting of my current location will actually show a small difference in appearance.  DH doesn't have SO much patience with me as I plan these shots and I suck at self portraits.  Maybe I can start standing sideways?  We shall see.

How Far Along: 10 weeks, 2 days (picture taken at 10 weeks)

Size of baby: Baby is the size of a prune which seems smaller than an olive but I don't make the rules

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Still down 9-10 pounds from retrieval day though I haven't checked in two days

Workouts: Ha, no, I can barely move this week

Maternity Clothes: Not yet

Gender: Who knows

Movement: Not yet

Sleep: All the time

What I miss: Being able to take hard core cold meds

Cravings: Last night even though I felt like dying I stopped and bought carrot cake on the way home

Symptoms: Just peeing
Anxiety Level: Elevated a little due to killer cold

Best Moment this week: Reaching the double digit milestone

Reading: Nothing pregnancy related

Dad is: Responsible for giving me the killer cold

 

In pregnancy news, yawn, nothing is new.  No appointments this week - the first that has happened since my 5th week when I was in Florida. I reached 10 weeks which seems legitimately pregnant.  Double digits!  But this week (or at least the past couple of days) has sucked because I've had the Cold of Death.  I could barely drag myself out of bed yesterday but I had a court appearance that I couldn't skip so I made myself show up.

 

I was worried to take anything for the cold since it's still the first trimester but the nurse I called gave me the go ahead to take Sudafed.  It wasn't the wonder cure DH got to take for his cold but as of today I feel a lot better.  Luckily I don't have to go back to work until Monday.  We're leaving town in a few hours to see both of our families for Thanksgiving.  I'm looking forward to telling some more relatives about the pregnancy and eating delicious food.

8-9 Weeks

I skipped a week!  Well, I went out of town for a week and was away from a computer but I didn't skip the whole being pregnant part.  Just not much has been interesting since my last ultrasound at 8 weeks.  And since I'm 9 weeks, 1 day already today I may as well combine the two weeks and try to make sure my regular updates are close to the beginning of each pregnancy week.  No promises though.

How Far Along: 9 weeks, 1 day, but picture was taken at 8 weeks, 4 days.
Size of baby: Baby is the size of an olive.  I love olives.
Total Weight Gain/Loss: It fluctuates but as of this morning I am still down 10 pounds from retrieval day.  I got on the scale at my new OB's office yesterday and cringed a little because the number on the scale was 5 pounds more than the number on my scale, but then again I normally weight myself in the buff.  Stupid clothes.
Workouts: Being gone for 6 days I couldn't get to the gym but I did do a whole lot of walking around Boston.
Maternity Clothes: None, even though everyone on my birth month board seems to be wearing them.  I'm thankful I don't need them yet.
Gender: Who knows.
Movement: Not yet.
Sleep: Sleepy.  Skipped out on a charity meeting tonight because I needed to nap.
What I miss: Wine.  I forgot I was pregnant for a minute and thought about buying some.
Cravings: Over the weekend I really wanted potato salad but then I had some and it was meh.
Symptoms: None really.  Peeing a lot at night.
Anxiety Level: Elevated while riding with my husband in traffic but that's normal for me.
Best Moment this week: Telling friends the news after they guessed at a concert.
Reading: Mostly non-pregnancy reading this week.
Dad is: Getting a lot less sleep than me.

Last Monday (8 weeks) I had my last visit with the fertility clinic.  I saw Gizmo for a third time and he has grown a lot.  His heart rate was 153 bpm.  Since everything looked good, I "graduated" and they gave me a free copy of Baby Bargains. I skipped out of the office with my ultrasound on top of the world.

Tuesday began my Northeastern tour, starting with Election Night in Boston spent with some lovely ladies I met online.  DH and I watched the rest of the election results in our hotel room and I was happy that the final result was called before I fell asleep.  I missed the speeches though because, yawn.  Wednesday and Thursday I explored the city while DH worked and then Thursday night we headed down to Providence for a show by our favorite band.  Friday I had lunch with my little sister and then we drove downstate for another show and to crash at my folk's house.

Saturday, DH and I went to see his parents, had dinner, and then went to (you guessed it) another show, this time met by several of our close friends.  Despite my best efforts at drinking cokes with a little cocktail straw, they noticed I wasn't imbibing and guessed that our IVF was a success.  It was fun to share our news.

Yesterday I met my new OB and I liked her and her office much better than my old OB who made me wait six zillion years.  She didn't even give me a list of things not to do so I guess the sky's the limit.  The only thing she mentioned was that I could have lunch meat if I wanted.

No more doctor's appointments until December 7th, crazy!

7 Weeks

It's been a crazy week of highs and lows.  Last Saturday we had planned to do something fun for Halloween but I woke up to some bright red bleeding in the morning.  The on-call nurse told me to take it easy so I didn't move from the couch for the rest of the weekend.  Then Sandy came bearing down on us, but luckily we weren't too affected.  I wish I could say the same for our relatives.  Five days later and both of our parents and my sister in law are still without power (and heat!).

Monday morning we went in for my second ultrasound.  I was a little apprehensive due to the bleeding but all of a sudden, the nurse played with some buttons on the ultrasound machine and we heard it.

Buh bump

Buh bump

Buh Bump

Gizmo's heartbeat!  It was a healthy 120 beats per minute.  He was measuring three days behind but they told me not to worry so I'm just going with it for now.

I look like a hot mess in this picture because I got so sweaty on my walk home.  That's been happening a lot lately.  I'm going to have to make DH take my picture before I leave for work from now on.

How Far Along: 7 weeks, 5 days.
Size of baby: Baby is the size of a blueberry.
Total Weight Gain/Loss: After holding steady at 10-11 pounds down from retrieval day, I've put two pounds back on the past couple of days so I'm currently 8 pounds less than retrieval day which is just 2 pounds less than I was directly before IVF.  I sort of wished the weight loss would have continued another week but now I'll just have to be more careful I guess.
Workouts: None.  I actually was planning on going to prenatal yoga but the class was cancelled.  Next week I hope.
Maternity Clothes: Nope.
Gender: Who knows.
Movement: Not yet.
Sleep: Pretty good.  A little bedtime anxiety.
What I miss: Nothing.
Cravings: Milk and cheese.
Symptoms: A little nausea but not so bad.
Anxiety Level: It was elevated after my bleeding scare last weekend and I get a little ramped up before bed lately.
Best Moment this week: Hearing Gizmo's heartbeat!
Reading: Mostly non-pregnancy reading this week.
Dad is: Cute.

Monday is my next ultrasound and (hopefully) my graduation day from the fertility doctor.  I hope everything continues to go well because, so far, this whole pregnancy thing has been a lot easier than I had expected, other than the unsolicited parenting advice I've already started to get from my mother - more on that later probably.

6 Weeks

This was a pretty good week because we got to see a healthy pregnancy confirmed on the ultrasound Monday.  I got my favorite nurse for the appointment and when she asked me how I was I said "apparently pregnant."  She thought I was crazy for not really believing I was pregnant but a) I don't really feel any different and b) I'm a little jaded from having my empty uterus scanned so many times.

Beside from confirming that, yes, I am actually pregnant, the ultrasound answered another important question: two babies on board or one?  We transferred two embryos to increase the likelihood of success but we were both a little intimidated by the idea of twins.

The verdict is..........

One!

Cue huge sigh of relief.  The nurse said there is still a tiny chance that one pregnancy is "hiding" and we'll see it next week but I'm pretty certain just one of our rock star embryos stuck around.  The cats will be thankful our household will continue to have more tiny felines than tiny humans.

I'm not sure what the right word is for what we saw - it's too early to even be considered a fetus.  For the time being we are calling the pregnancy Gizmo.  One gestational sac.  One yolk sac. The nurse was unable to find a heartbeat at first but eventually located the fetal pole and saw it flickering a bit.

Gizmo was measuring 5 weeks 5-6 days when I was really 6 weeks but they assured me there was nothing to worry about. By this coming Monday (weeks) I should b able to hear the heartbeat.

How Far Along: 6 weeks, 4 days.

Size of baby: Baby is the size of a sweet pea.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Down 10 lbs from day of retrieval, woot woot.

Workouts: None, sigh.

Maternity Clothes: Nope.

Gender: Who knows.

Movement: Not yet.

Sleep: Good, early to bed.

What I miss: Nothing.

Cravings: Nope, not hungry.

Symptoms: None at all
Anxiety Level: Holding steady at 1-2.

Best Moment this week: Seeing Gizmo on the ultrasound.

Reading: You Having a Baby (interesting book I found at the library).

Dad is: Busy at work.

 

Overall I'm doing pretty great this week.  H told his parents the news yesterday and they are ecstatic. We'll start telling more family at Thanksgiving (10 weeks).

5 Weeks

This week has been super fun because I went on two mini-vacations.  The whole pregnancy thing has been a definite bonus, even though I barely have any symptoms.  It makes me happy to go to bed at night (early) and wake up one more day pregnant.  I'm not sure it will feel "real" until I see the ultrasound on Monday but I'm just staying positive in the meantime.

Yesterday marked eight months until the baby gets here, which all of a sudden seems really soon. Whatever happened to those women who claimed pregnancy was ten months?  I just got started and have less than eight months to go!

On Friday, H and I went out of town to see two shows by our favorite band.  We're kinda groupies.  Between the two of us I think we've seen 110+ of this band's shows. We also stopped by my alma mater and the football team actually won so that was awesome.  They usually only win one game a year so I'm glad we caught it.

 Sunday I flew to Ft. Lauderdale for some fun in the sun.  I had wanted to get away for a while and had a free flight to use but it was hard to schedule with all the fertility treatments.  It was so relaxing to sit by the pool and read.  My hotel room had an awesome king sized bed and soaking tub that I enjoyed.  I got home last night feeling totally refreshed.

I had taken a normal (clothes on) 5 week shot because it has been years since I've allowed myself to be photographed in a bathing suit - much less shared it with the Internet - but I decided to share this one instead, realizing this may be as good as I look for the foreseeable future (tear).

How Far Along: 5 weeks, 3 days.

Size of baby: Baby is the size of a appleseed.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Down 9 lbs from day of retrieval.

Workouts: I swam a lot on vacation but nothing formal.

Maternity Clothes: Nope.

Gender: Who knows.

Movement: Not yet.

Sleep: Awesome.

What I miss: Two times this week I was at restaurants where seared tuna was the best thing on the menu.  Oh well.

Cravings: I don't want to eat anything.  I can drink milk though.  Soups are good.

Symptoms: Nada.

Anxiety Level: A little bit on the plane on the way back but other than that, pretty much zero.

Best Moment this week: Lounging by the pool in Ft. Lauderdale.

Reading: What to Expect When You're Expecting (pretty good).

Dad is: Making sure we have healthy foods to eat.

4 Weeks

Oh hai, I'm blogging again.  A million years ago when I was in third grade, my English teacher told me to keep a notebook on me at all times because she could tell I was going to be a writer one day.  I've been an underachieving aspiring writer ever since.  In addition to incomplete novels, I have started and abandoned more blogs than Elizabeth Taylor has marriages.  But now that I'm pregnant (hurray!) I will have at least nine months of material to blog about - provided all goes well.

One of my main goals of this pregnancy is to keep healthy and manage my anxiety symptoms.  I know it's going to be tough starting out a pregnancy being overweight and suffering from GAD but I hope writing about my journey will keep me accountable.

To that end, I have tweaked the standard weekly pregnancy check in to fit my needs.  I omitted some stuff that I didn't want ("wedding rings on or off?" - who cares? and "libido?" - none of your business) and added a list of workouts, anxiety level and recent reads (I'm a book junkie).

 

How Far Along: 4 weeks, 1 day

Size of baby: Baby is the size of a poppyseed

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Down 5 lbs from day of retrieval

Workouts: 0

Maternity Clothes: Nope

Gender: Who knows

Movement: Not yet

Sleep: Good, I'm tired a lot

What I miss: Nothing.

Cravings: Not particuarly hungry but sometimes milk

Symptoms: Weird pain in my side when I sneeze or yawn
Anxiety Level: Mostly a 1, except when I got lost (4ish).

Best Moment this week: Getting my BFP!

Reading: Your Pregnancy Week by Week (yawn) and the Mayo Clinic's Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy (okay)

Dad is: Excited