24 Weeks

I'm feeling very grateful today about how easy my pregnancy has gone thus far.  I can't even begin to express how nervous I was for years about how I'd handle my anxiety while pregnant, only to find that it's been (knocks on biggest piece of wood ever) pretty much a non-issue.

An old therapist of mine told me that half of women with anxiety disorders before pregnancy experienced reduced anxiety in pregnancy.  Later when I cited this statistic to my psychiatrist she disputed its credibility.  I remember telling her I would find the study and send her a copy, but I don't remember if I actually found the study.  Pregnancy brain!

Not that I can really claim pregnancy has been some sort of marvelous anxiety cure all because I've also had a lot of other support mechanisms in place - namely Zoloft, weekly therapy and monthly psychiatry sessions.  Still, I'm very relieved I've maintained my sanity for the past 24 weeks.  Sadly, it doesn't make me more confident about the potential anxiety overload of new motherhood but more on that later.

How Far Along: 24 weeks.
Size of baby: Baby is the size of a cantaloupe according to The Bump but it also says 12.7 to 20.8 ounces, which, aside from being a HUGE range, is probably way smaller than my actual fetus.  Gizmo was measuring over a pound four weeks ago so I'm thinking he's rocking almost two pounds by now.  But I suck at math so that could be wrong.  
Total Weight Gain/Loss: Back down a pound so I'm just up one from pre-IVF weight.  I have no earthly idea how that is.  I ate two lunches today.
Workouts: Nada.
Maternity Clothes: Pretty much all the time when I go out in public.  At home I can still wear tanks and yoga pants.
Gender: It's a boy!
Movement: A few pokes a day.  Lazy baby.
Sleep: Fine.
What I miss: Nada.

Cravings: None.

Symptoms: Occasional reflux.

Anxiety Level: Not bad but spikes at night.

Best Moment this week: My first prenatal massage on Tuesday.

Reading: About halfway through Beautiful Creatures.

Dad is: Waiting to hear back from a job he had a great interview with on Friday.

Prenatal massage was heavenly.  I scheduled another one for 27 weeks and if all goes well I'll see her a little more frequently in the third trimester.  Wow, the third trimester is something that is coming up soon.  I can hardly believe it.

What it should look like

A lot of people make a big deal over hitting 24 weeks because it is considered by many hospitals the "viability point," or the earliest point in which a premature infant can survive.  Since I have a friend and neighbor lose her 24 weeker in December, after months of NICU time, I am more stoic about this milestone.  I think I'll breathe sightly easier at 29 weeks but I also just don't want to contemplate meeting Gizmo before June.

After the relative success of my crafting project on Saturday, I decided to get started my next project, namely a Gobbi mobile, one in the sequence of the Montessori mobile series.  Some bloggers I found said it was a task that required "the patience of a Buddhist monk" and "if you can afford to buy it instead of making it, do that instead" but I wasn't discouraged.  I went to the store and bought Styrofoam balls and five varying shades of green thread.  I was going to be the proud owner of a handmade mobile currently being sold on etsy for $50 for the low price of $5!

I started threading the first ball and thought "this is easy."

When I gave up

About a half hour into the project, DH suggested I just buy the mobile since I was only about 1/10 of the way through one ball. "No," I protested, "every time I look at the mobile I will be reminded of my resourcefulness and frugality."

An hour into it, I was having my own doubts but told myself I could brag how "homemade" my mobile would be and maybe I would hang it permanently in his room.

Two hours into it, I decided no son of mine would want his mother spending fifty hours of her time wrapping thread around a Styrofoam ball and I ordered one online.  My son will be a capitalist.

DIY Montessori Wooden Toy Tripod

I have been reading about practicing Montessori principles from birth to foster a child's development since way before there was an actual child on the way. I've drooled over Montessori rooms like the one developed by Meg at Sew Liberated designed for her son Finn.  I knew, due to space constraints and a desire to keep Gizmo sleeping in our room for the first four months of life, that we wouldn't be setting up a room with four separate areas for sleeping, changing, feeding and being active right at birth. Still, I plan to practice many Montessori and Montessori-inspired ways of nurturing Gizmo's development.

One of the things I am most excited about is the various mobiles and toys that Montessori educators recommend to hang over a baby's face while they are lying independently on the floor. A lot of bloggers I've seen have suspended a line of rope from the ceiling or a wall bracket for this purpose. That's probably the easiest option, but it's one that assumes your "activity area" is always in the same place.  Or that you don't mind hanging a whole bunch of crap on your walls, I don't know.  I decided I needed something more flexible.

A hanging toy tripod, like the one being sold by the Michael Olaf Company, seemed ideal for the transient nature of our infant-in-an-apartment plans.  The price tag freaked me out though.  I mean, I know it's hand-crafted and all, but $95 for a tripod plus shipping was too rich for my blood.  Side note: besides being super expensive, the Michael Olaf Company has a web site that seems straight out of AOL in the mid 1990's so if you want to see additional pictures of the tripod, check out this link.

I kept googling to see if I could find a cheaper alternative out there, and lots of bloggers kept saying it was so easy to DIY.  Let me tell you - I am not a skilled DIYer at all.  My tragic flaw is that I love looking at DIY stuff but any attempt I've ever made to take on a project has ended up a ridiculous failure.  So when I tell you that this project is easy, rest assured it is a "my cat can probably do this" level of easy. And it was cheap too.  Like $10 cheap.

I started out following the tutorial over at At Home With Montessori but decided not to try to sew the mat underneath it because, woah, I do not sew.  Yet, even after watching the youtube video several times in slow motion and googling how to tie a clove hitch and following a diagram there, my pole lashing was just not working.  I think the rope was too thin.  I was on my way out the door to get new rope but I decided to improvise a bit and found a rubber hair tie worked even better.  Now, my tripod is complete and easy to collapse and store.

Here is my simplified step-by-step tutorial:

1.  Go to Home Depot.  I remember the first time I stepped into Home Depot and was frankly really surprised it didn't look like a mall full of crafting supplies.  I wanted to buy plywood and batting materials to make a DIY headboard like I had seen a thousand times on TLC.  I was so overwhelmed and lost I left without buying anything and I still don't have a headboard.  But I digress.

2. Look up.  The sign will say "Building Materials."  Walk to the back past all the really big wooden stuff you don't need.  Next to the crown molding materials you will see a whole bunch of wooden rods piled in boxes.  These are called dowels.  You need three of them.  They should be 3/4" in diameter and 48" long.  For reference, I bought these for $2.97 each. 

3. Look up.  Walk to "Tools and Hardware" and then find where they are selling "Cabinet and Furniture Hardware." Try not to get distracted by fancy dresser pull knobs you don't need.  Find these rubber "leg tips" I bought for $1.99.  Buy one set of 3/4" leg tips. I bought two sets in case I want to put some on the top of the poles too but I can't decide if I'm going to or not.

4. Go home.  Attach rubber tips to the end of the dowels.  Group the tops of the dowels together and fasten them with a rubber band.  Voila!

When I first announced my plans to make this tripod, my husband expressed how much the cats would like it.  One of our cats' favorite toys is an old bangle bracelet of mine attached to a shoelace.  It did not disappoint.  I tied a metal ring to a piece of string and hung it from the tripod and the boys immediately began playing with it. I'm going to swap this out with a wooden ring, mobiles, and other toys when Gizmo is here.

I'm not sure why it looks so narrow in this picture I uploaded but the imaginary circle created by the tripod is exactly 3 feet in diameter.  I may still fasten a round mat to the bottom or simply place it over a rug.  I haven't decided yet.  It is surprisingly sturdy.  I'll be sure to upload more pictures when it's in use.

23 Weeks

T minus twenty days until our furniture is delivered and we've made a lot of improvement on clearing out the office.  As you can see, we still have to disassemble the bookcase and move all the boxes either to our storage cage in the basement or a rented storage place.  And by "we," I mean DH, but he hurt his back from lifting boxes so he's out of commission for a few days.

We also got our carriage and I'm so excited about it! It's the Uppababy Vista that we fell in love with while testing out different models in a store.  Not wanting to pay full price - as of today it's retailing for $729 on Amazon - I have been stalking craigslist for weeks to find a deal. I finally found a 2012 model, barely used, selling near my parent's house.  We offered $400, my folks picked it up, and we are now its proud owners.  I haven't even seen it in person yet but my parents are very impressed with it.  The bassinet is hopefully where Gizmo will be sleeping for the first few months of his life.

I'm happy things are finally coming along.  I'm glad we still have lots of time left because it seems like we have a million more things to do.


How Far Along: 23 weeks.
Size of baby: Baby is the size of a grapefruit. 
Total Weight Gain/Loss: Fluctuating weight this week.  As of today I'm two pounds above pre-IVF weight which is fine, except it was two pounds less yesterday.  Oh well.
Workouts: Does cleaning count?
Maternity Clothes: I went out and bought two more Pea in the Pod shirts yesterday because they are so comfortable and nice material and, well, I can't find one of the ones I already had because I'm just all about losing things lately. I'm wearing the new pink one now. Expensive but worth it.
Gender: It's a boy!
Movement: I thought the movement would increase eventually but it's still pretty rare.  Weird.
Sleep: Just one pee break a night lately.

What I miss: Nada.

Cravings: I went out and got a bunch of Ramen noodles for lunches.

Symptoms: A bit of acid reflux at night. 

Anxiety Level: Much better.  Maybe a two this week.

Best Moment this week: Date night with DH.  We saw all the Oscar nominated short films.

Reading: Abandoned my nearly finished Discovery of Witches in favor of Beautiful Creatures because the latter was on sale for Kindle.

Dad is: Recovering from hurting his back cleaning out the office.

 

It was a good week.  I think switching to the vitamins with Iron has made a difference.  We both have today off of work, so I'm still enjoying a nice leisurely weekend.  I got a pedicure yesterday and tomorrow I have my very first prenatal massage. I'm looking forward to it.

 

DH is still on the job hunt and hopefully we'll have some news on that front soon.  We're hoping to time things so he can quit his current job right after annual bonuses come out in mid-March.

22 Weeks

Pictured (at left) is the same dress I wore at sixteen weeks, ten weeks, and four weeks.

I am loving pregnancy this week.  I am feeling little kicks on a regular basis, I feel great, and we are finally doing some baby shopping!

H and I were in the waiting room of the Urgent Care this weekend (persistent sore throat and the doctor can't give me any meds for it) and I read to him from this article that explained why babies are born at forty weeks gestation.  Apparently the old school of thought was that babies' heads got too big to go through the birth canal.  The new thinking is that the reason why babies are born so immature compared to other primates, is that forty weeks is the limit that women can handle metabolically (translation: before babies start sucking the life out of us!)

Ideally, the article said, pregnancy would last longer so that babies would be less needy when they are born.  I laughed when reading this aloud because I always say I would love to give birth to a three month old.  Every time someone hands me a teeny tiny newborn I want them to take it back right away, but I can totally play with a five month old.  So, if they ever figure out how to keep kiddos in for twelve months instead of nine, I'd be all for it.

I say that now at the blissful second trimester ignorance but I may very well change my mind when I hit month nine.

How Far Along: 22 weeks.
Size of baby: Baby is the size of a papaya. 
Total Weight Gain/Loss:  I may have lost two pounds this week, which means I'm two pounds below pre-IVF weight, but maybe it will come back tomorrow. I just ate a banana with peanut butter  in case Gizmo needed some protein.  I'm also drinking cow's milk like it's going out of style.
Workouts: Lol.
Maternity Clothes: Nothing new.  Every now and then I go to add things to my cart but then I tell myself I have enough to get through the next 18 weeks (maybe).  Pre-pregnancy dresses are still the best for work. 
Gender: It's a boy!
Movement: Yes, feeling him several times a day.  It's very cool.

Sleep: Other than the peeing it's okay.

What I miss: Nada.

Cravings: Nada.

Symptoms: Acid reflux is back!  But not as bad as it was.

Anxiety Level: Minor freak out cured by consumerism.

Best Moment this week: Buying a glider and dresser for Gizmo's space.

Reading: Embarrassed to admit I have yet to finish A Discovery of Witches.  I worked late three nights this past week.

Dad is: Talking to Gizmo at night.

 

So after my little nervous breakdown about not having any space to put Gizmo's stuff, we decided to clear out the office to make room for him. Yesterday we drove to the local furniture "just to look" at some gliders because I heard they sold Best Chairs and they came highly recommended by women on the Interwebz.

 

Less than an hour later we were the proud owner of a Best glider and a kickass dresser that we hope Gizmo can have until he goes to college.  The chair is SO comfy that as soon as we sat down on it I knew I had to have it.  H was also pleased that the price tag was so much less than the expensive PBK links I had sent him.  Then we skipped over to the children's room area because we didn't care for any of the dressers in the baby section.  The dresser we got was a little more than we were looking to spend but we agreed it was much better to get something that will last.  I carried that changing pad you see in the picture over to the dresser to make sure it will fit.  We didn't get the matching mirror pictured.

They told us they could be delivered in thirty days which gives us time to get rid of all the CRAP in the office. So, twenty eight days left to go!  I've been keeping myself busy looking for accessories to make the room complete.  It's amazing how spending money on furniture instantly cured my "we're not prepared for the baby" anxiety.  I have enough to keep me busy for at least several weeks now I hope.

Gizmo's Space: Before

So it looks like we're setting up a room, or most of a room, for Gizmo.  This entire pregnancy I have been saying we didn't need to do this because he would be sleeping in our room until we move to a bigger place.  I reminded myself to be patient every time I saw some cute baby nursery item. I wrote about how frustrating it was, but how I made myself feel better by getting our financial house in order before Gizmo gets here.

And then I registered.

Damn. I never realized how much crap babies need.  I thought my registry was pretty full until some other mothers pointed out all the things I had left off.  I also decided I really wanted a glider to nurse the baby on and thus needed a spot for that to happen.  We had talked about putting it in our bedroom but I felt it was a better idea to take Gizmo out of the bedroom so that H can sleep.

Enter the office.

When we first bought the condo we said this room would become the nursery and that we wouldn't move until the first baby was a year old because "they're so small."  But after five years here and it taking us so long to get pregnant, we are ready to move on. Unfortunately since we're underwater on the condo we need a hefty down payment for our next home.  Oh yeah, and that room has since become H's office since he works from home sixty percent of the time.

So....in addition to being the place in which he spends twelve hours a day, it also houses a ton of clutter.  If you look behind the bike and the humongous air conditioner (which is actually really awesome) you will see the television we just replaced, the artwork we bought on our cruise for the baby's future room, remnants of a mail order weight loss program I was on, tons of books we weren't able to sell in the Great Book Purge of 2011, a chair we haven't thrown out yet because the cats like it, etc. etc.

The new plan is to put the giant bookcase and the pub table in storage and decide to save or purge the rest.  Add a dresser with a changing pad on top and a glider.  And maybe some shelving with baby items.  Plus a nice shaggy rug that we can play on and do tummy time.  Ever since we came up with this plan my anxiety has been greatly improved.  I think I just need to do something tangible to prove there will actually be a baby living here other than operating on the assumption that money will just fall out of the sky and we will be all moved by June.

I played around with a room design template and came up with a layout.  H's desk will stay where it is but he promises to try and work for at least a few hours a day at a coffee shop so we can share the space. I'm excited to get started transforming the space.

21 Weeks

I really wish I could bottle this week of pregnancy so that I could revisit it anytime I want.  I have this adorable (to me anyway) bump that I used to envy every time I saw another woman sport.  And I feel pretty good. Of course, walking long distances and standing for lengths of time are not in my future, but I'm trying to not let it cramp my style.

I ordered a belly support belt to see if that helps take some pressure off my abdomen.  Walking around NYC this weekend was MURDER.  We checked out way too expensive baby boutiques and fell in love with the Uppa Baby Vista stroller.  We saw our favorite band play two more times and hung out with friends of ours.  Gizmo has officially been to 15 shows in his gestational period.

Yes, that's right.  His!  It's a boy!!! We had our gender reveal party on Sunday and it was so much fun.  My mom went pretty crazy with ideas gleaned from Pinterest.  We show up and the back steps are adorned with pink and blue balloons.  Since it was Super Bowl Sunday she had made a sign saying "Welcome to the Last Name Bowl."  Inside she had hung two lines of baby clothes - girly and boyish - and had a sign where people could pick their teams (boy or girl) on pink and blue football helmets.

We had seen the baby on Friday at our anatomy scan but for some reason H and I were convinced it was a girl and spent the whole weekend looking at girl clothes and coming up with girl names.  I know it sounds silly but I was SHOCKED when the inside of the cake was blue.  But happy!  I love my little boy!

How Far Along: 21 weeks, 1 day (picture taken at 21 weeks).
Size of baby: Baby is the size of a pomegranate.  Isn't a pomegranate way smaller than other things I've been? 
Total Weight Gain/Loss:  Still at pre-IVF weight which is 5 pounds less than the day of my IVF retrieval but 5 pounds more than I was on the day of my BFP.
Workouts: I walked seven miles in one day in NYC but it wasn't on purpose and it hurt.
Maternity Clothes: Yes, got some new Target maternity pants which I love.  Pre-pregnancy wrap dresses are still my work staple.
Gender: It's a boy!

Movement: A little more this week and a bunch at the concerts.  Gizmo either loves or hates loud music.

Sleep: Other than the peeing it's okay.

What I miss: Not being tired all the time.  I just switched vitamins so now I'm taking the ones with iron (that made me constipated) and hopefully that will help a bit.

Cravings: Nada.

Symptoms: Some kicks here and there.  Still subtle.

Anxiety Level: Much better than last week.

Best Moment this week: Our anatomy scan and finding out it's a boy!

Reading: Still on A Discovery of Witches but I've made little progress.

Dad is: Getting more interviews and callbacks!

So the anatomy scan was great.  A tad stressful because we let a student do the bulk of it and it took her forever to get the measurements and we nearly missed H's grandmother's funeral because of that, but it was so exciting to see an active healthy Gizmo!  I don't know how the rest of pregnancy goes but it may have been the last time I'll see him before he's in my arms.

I have a few funny stories about meeting with the NP after the scan.  This is the same gal who had previously told me that while intercourse was off the table I was free to "do other things."  Then when that didn't work out, she told me to abstain for two weeks even though the nurse I had spoken to said to abstain until my anatomy scan (we ended up splitting the difference of those two advices).  So me and her have spoken several times about sex.  But this time H was in the room.

NP: So the hematoma has cleared up so you can resume doing that thing we talked about.

Me: Um, do you mean sex?

LOL lady.  Do you think if there were a medical reason that I couldn't have sex for 9 weeks I would have maybe mentioned it to my husband?  No need for euphemisms!  Then...

NP: Your weight has stayed pretty consistent, but it's nothing to be concerned about.

Me: I know, because I'm already heavy.

NP: I wasn't going to say that.

Me: Huh?

NP: I just meant that since your baby is measuring one pound already we don't have to worry about you not gaining weight.

Is she just really shy?  I mean, I am heavy, why not talk about it?  I'm glad she doesn't deliver babies because she'd probably be all "well your baby is in the you know where so if you want to maybe think about pushing that's okay, but no pressure."